Rebuilding

When a country fails how do they start the reconstruction process? When an ideology or political party gets trounced in the polls how do they re-establish their base and build upon it. When a house is burned down, how does someone determine what the next step should be? Do they move? Do they rebuild? When we face adversity and have to start over in areas of our own lives where do we begin?

In the United States after the Civil War the south was decimated and its reconstruction began. President Lincoln before his assassination favored lenient terms with the southern states during the process which President Andrew Johnson, a southerner himself, was happy to maintain upon Lincoln's death. Many Republicans irate over Lincoln's assassination were not willing to accept the President's lenient terms with the southern states and with large victories in Congress were able to override Johnson's vetoes to their more hardline policies in dealing with the southern states. Many northerners who supported reconstruction moved south to work with freedmen and create Republican governments in the south. They were derisively called carpetbaggers. The white southerners that supported the reconstruction process were called scalawags. And some of the white southerners who started uprising against these new threats to their lifestyles were called the Klu Klux Klan.

In Germany following the World War I the Allies kept a blockade on German ports that kept ships from delivering goods into the country. Many civilians died of starvation during the eight-month blockade before the Treaty of Versailles was signed officially ending the war. The treaty blamed Germany solely for World War I and placed an enormous bill for them to pay as reparations for the war damage. The amount at the time was the equivalent of $64 billion in that day ($778 billion in 2010) payable over 70 years time. Many believed the amount was far too excessive and that the unrest from the reparations led to the power and uprising of Adolf Hitler and the Nazis.

When pushed to extreme situations it seems that people lean towards extreme ideologies. This happened both in the southern United States in 1860's and Germany in the 1930's. History will show us that this has happened in most failed states and policies. One failure leads to the birth of extreme policies and individuals. The foundation for rebuilding in these examples appears to be the loudest voice in the room and the one that fans the populaces anger and pride.

In life we face adversities as well. Our walls of security can collapse and our seemingly prosperous economies can crumble. Sometimes this can be a result of outside forces and sometimes it is strictly of our own doing. When that dull thud ceases and we pass realization and sit alone in our own thoughts, we decide which voice will lead us.

Where do we start? Do we start at faith? Is God the answer? In times of my lowest in life I have prayed for guidance. I am a Christian but seem to only call upon God at my absolute ends when I have not a clue how to get myself out of my own doings. When times are good it is as if I don't even know who God is. I look at God as a lifeline on Who Want's to Be a Millionaire. God is my fourth option after "Phone a Friend" and the "50/50" option have been exhausted. I know when I've prayed and called upon Him that I've been relieved of my pain and given a clearer mind out of the clutter of my own thoughts, but I also know that it is an unbalanced relationship. This makes it harder for me to phone that friend because I'm such a bad friend most of the time and I expect the call isn't going to be answered.

I worry that religion has caused so much of the problems in our world. The same loud voices that swayed the disillusioned masses in the south in the 1860's and Germany in the 1930's have swayed many of minds of the young men and women in the Middle East. The fear and pride angle is preached through in the name of Allah and the end to them justifies the means, even if that means their own death and thousands of innocent lives along with them. Yet it is money again and dire conditions that force the power of the words, even the if the words in normal circumstances don't make any sense at all. Is introducing a capitalist system into those countries the answer? If it is the one we have in place here now I don't know, but again I am not sure if it is the conditions forcing the argument or if I'm just blowing smoke. Four years ago I wasn't concerned about the system and the economics of our world, I just wanted to buy a new car.

When the cats in the way, the mice will play

I’m coming to you live from the SOU Computer Lab. Yes, my first Blog offsite. I’ve written from various rooms in my house on my lap top but I’ve yet to take my blog from those friendly confines of home. It’s a blog away game. Like the Giants playing two games in Philadelphia I had two exams today and yet unlike them I need to leave here 2-0. They can be two bitter C’s, but C’s they gotta B. I’m still a little weary from last night’s game of chase the mouse. Seems I have a bit of vermin problem in mi Casa de Miller.

Last night my cat Wicky burst through the doggie door with his prize. His prize was a ginormous mouse in his mouth and one with some fighting spirit left. I thought cats were supposed to get mice out of your house, not bring them in. Well the bastard not only managed to bring in the live creature but he mouth delivered him straight to my bedroom. Then he proceeded to drop him off and let the games begin. I was reading about the Coliseum and live animal vs. gladiator fights that had transpired there in preparation for a blog I was going to write and had no idea that I too would be thrown into the arena. I darted to my garage for my weapons. My weapons of choice were two fishing nets. Here I was trying to wrangle this vile monster into my net while my cat meowed and hissed as if he were going to actually attack the mouse rather than give him a piggy back ride into my house. I knew better and threw him outside of the room. It was me and the mouse, mano y mano (assuming the mouse was a male).

The mouse dove for cover under the bed as I swiped at it with my net and it hid behind the boxes. When I moved them to get a clean jab the creature glared at me and sprinted to the night stand. I got off the floor and hovered over. I could hear the breathing of the beast as my heart pounded with anticipation of my victory. I lifted the night stand and positioned my net to make my catch. The clever animal bobbed and weaved and eluded my trap. It made a fast break past me and into the closet. There it changed direction from east and west and ventured north, straight up the clothes and onto the side of the closet balancing on a belt rack. I stared eye to eye with the mouse. The black eyes peered at me as my cat pounced through my door and waited below looking up with ferociousness at the waiting prey. Sure, I thought, now you are ready to attack after I did all the work cornering the tiny vermin.

 Suddenly the mouse made a cry of mercy as it knew it was caught. My nets were closing in and it gave me one final look of desperation as it looked down at my awaiting cat as its only other option. I was not swayed and tangled the creature in both nets and made a break for the front door. As I prepared to end its life the imaginary crowd of the Coliseum voiced its opinion, “Live!” I put the nets on the ground out front and watched the mouse untangle itself and flee to safety into the night. Then realized a few moments later the stupid thing will probably just find a way to come back into my house again. Damn!

Feeling good about my merciful victory I proceeded on with the night. About an hour later noises in my kitchen led me to the fridge and upon pointing my flashlight behind it an even larger mouse. Oh man, I thought, the house is infested! Another hour later and this one seemed much better equipped at net dodging. Round two is still underway…..

It's more than a beard

I'm about two weeks in and I'm digging the beginnings of my beard and for more than the appearance. It seems the beard on men has a long, but often sporadic, history. It's been linked to intellectuals and crazies, sometimes they are the same person. It has been used as a phrase for disguising oneself, either one's sexuality or an affair. But, my intentions are no disguise at all. If anything what began as a unity gesture with my favorite baseball team has evolved into a deeper societal message.

 In the 1960's the hippies re-introduced the beard. It had been hiding from society from the early 1900's, through the roaring 20's, our depressed 30's, our World War II fighting 40's, and finally through our "I Love Lucy and My Three Sons" 1950's. It was a revolution after all: Down with the man. The man being society, the corporations, and the government that was initiating Vietnam. It was the culture, free-spirited, marijuana smoking, enlightened, fighting against perceived injustices. There was free love, Woodstock, and iconic music as social policies were being pushed by demonstrations and collective voices for singular causes. It became synonymous with outsider and hippies. Eventually mainstream musicians and actors supportive of those views began their own beard growing as well, but if you look before 1960 you'll be looking for a while.

The first president to sport the beard was Abraham Lincoln, and it was during that time that the beard became linked to intelligence again. Many intellectuals of the time began growing beards. It no longer was rustic though Lincoln had started growing his beard only in 1960 at the request of an 11-year old girl Grace Bedell who wrote to him telling him his face was too thin and that he would win the Presidency if he grew one. Lincoln who had always been clean shaven won the White House and then obliged. His elaborate words and eloquence was added a dose of ruggedness and rural appeal that he had lacked before. Now his image is linked forever to his beard even though he only wore it the last three years of his life in office.

Before Lincoln you would have to go back even further. The most famous beard before Lincoln belonged to one of the world's most menacing pirates Blackbeard in the late 1600's and early 1700's. Before Blackbeard you would have to go back to the Middle Ages and even further to ancient Greece. There the beard was a symbol of the greatest ancient minds: Socrates and Plato. In the movie 300 about Sparta and the men who fought against the Persian Empire in the Battle of Thermopylae some of the men in the film wore beards, including King Leonidas, and yet some did not. But in fact all of the soldiers then would have likely worn beards, as punishment for cowardice the Spartans would shave a man's beard.



King Leonidas in 300

Nowadays we only see beards on television during the playoffs. The San Francisco Giants Brian Wilson's dark beard has brought forth the catch phrase "Fear the Beard". And with his crazy eyes and personality Wilson carries the persona well. I started growing my beard in the same spirit of the playoffs. Then as I walked around the Ashland SOU campus and saw the same counter-culture from the late 1960's and early 70's I realized my beard served a higher purpose. It isn't going to be grown in solidarity with a sports team (well..maybe a little), nor am I going to grow it to fight "the man" i.e. corporations, though that would be a valid fight. Nope, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about women and relationships, about men and society.

I've noticed a lot more women on my Facebook, on television, and everywhere that are no longer into men exclusively or in some cases at all. Some of them are younger and some are not, but it made me think about the way our society has been in the last twenty, thirty years. I don't fault anyone for their sexual preference, and truthfully when given a choice between an emasculated feminized male and a female I understand why women would go with the female version. It's the true version. We've lived in a pretty boy society for the last twenty years. Men have become metro-sexual. Men are more in touch with their feelings. Men are taking more care of their hair and their attire. Some men get manicures. Men are more concerned with their six-pack then ever. They aspire to be the "Situation" or Zack Efron instead of themselves. They've become too concerned with being beautiful themselves then actually appreciating how incredibly beautiful women are. It's no wonder we see more women going bi, or saying bye-bye to men. Men have been making that trip from themselves for the last couple of decades.

I am going to grow my beard because society says that it is not attractive. Because society says it is not polished, that I should look more smooth, more shaven, more feminine. I'm not in competition with women. They will always win based on looks, and I'm grateful for it. It's not about the appearance, it's more than that. I promise that I will not shave it for appearance reasons, but it can be kind of uncomfortable and I'm really only in week two. I imagine it's gonna get worse, but I'll persevere. Of course if a beautiful woman pops into my life and tells me to shave..all bets are off.

A boat, some tar, and a few words

Business Statistics and Business Operations should be my primary focus, only they aren't. I can't seem to motivate myself to tackle them. I am stuck. Stuck between the drive to finish and the desire to stay here. Stuck is a place I've been a long time in my life. Not sure what the next move will be, hoping for inspiration but also knowing if it comes there is a good possibility I will let it slip away. For a while I was able to use a job to distract me and then a relationship, and well now I have neither so I'm really stuck. Like the Brer Rabbit with the Tar Baby, the more I try to change the more things stay the same and I get even more stuck in the process.

I say I want to be a teacher then I watch the show Teach with Tony Danza and see how miserable the job looks. How the heck could I teach anyone? And if I'm a teacher what does that say about our educators? I certainly haven't learned anything myself to be a teacher for others. I am barely making it through this thing called life as it is. I am pretty sure I no longer have the stomach for banking, at least in its current form which has become more of a sweat shop than a respected industry. Gone are the days when there was dignity to the profession. I think I need a job where I can respect myself in the morning. Of course, a job period would be nice. It is hard to accept being a full-time student at 33, when I have worked my entire life. I just can't wrap my head around it.

My ex-girlfriend's sister's wedding was yesterday. I was supposed to go on that trip to Boston with her and her family so that was a weird feeling and maybe why I was in such a bad mood yesterday. I don't know, it's been several months and I guess this is supposed to get easier, but it doesn't. I guess I'm eventually supposed to feel better, but I don't. I'm not doing really well in this game of life lately. I wish I could get sent back to the minor leagues and improve my game and come back up when I'm ready. I'm not sure where to start though.



Statue of Christopher Columbus in Barcelona

Today is Columbus Day and whatever you feel about the man personally, and over the last several years his image is taking a beating, he was a great explorer. He may have been a horrible human being, but his accomplishments in exploration can't be forgotten. He did not discover North America, the Vikings did that in 1100, but he did set sail and land in the Caribbean. He bravely took a ship overseas when the chances of survival were not always guaranteed. It took over two months of sailing to reach landfall in 1492. While I travelled Europe I saw the statue of Columbus in Barcelona. It shows him looking out into the sea, even though he departed on his journey from southern Spain. He did however stop over in the Canary Islands as did we, so I feel like I almost joined in the journey, except that I was in a plane flying overhead 520 years after the fact.

Even knowing the atrocities of his actions we still must admire the boldness of his journey. He may have believed he discovered Eden or thought he was closer to China then he really was, but he took a voyage most men would never dare. Whether his discoveries deserve a national holiday is not the issue, it is his courage to undertake it that we have to appreciate. I'm envious of the time when such journeys meant something and wonder what there is left to discover now. It seems the journeys are either in outer space or in our head space that we have to look forward to. Personal discoveries within ourselves, but what if we discover that what is up there isn't as grand as we once believed. What if the genius we thought we had inside of us is merely some island south of North America. What if there is no Eden, and it's just tar.

A million miles a minute

Ever feel like you've got too much going on in your head? Last night I watched the Giants and Tiny Tim Lincecum throw darting fastballs and wicked and nasty sliders to the Braves hitters sending them flailing into the ground. Lincecum looks like a cartoon character out there with his long hair and wild moves on the mound. With the orange towels waving in the stands and the ineptitude of the Atlanta hitters, looking more like Wiley Coyotes trying to catch the Roadrunner than Braves trying to hit a pitch, I wasn't sure if I was watching the Cartoon Network or TBS. I was half waiting for Lincecum to pull a Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible and just peel off his disguise revealing a animated version of himself in the 9th inning. Oh...now I get it. I thought I heard he was dating Jessica Rabbit.

Hypocrisy annoys me. Hence all politicians and politics in general. I grew up a staunch conservative and even listened to my Dad's daily dosage of Rush Limbaugh growing up. I grew up in a middle class household and while my parent's were never the bold in your face type of Republicans we definitely held firm in our beliefs and some of them are still etched inside of me to this day. My frustrations with public services being at an all-time high now I can't imagine the train wreck we are about to encounter with this nation wide health care plan. Long story short though, eight years of life in Seattle as a social outcast for my belief system and I have found more middle ground. I see both sides of issues. I am neither right nor left. I would never define myself to a party so blindly and sitting in the middle now allows me to see how absolutely ridiculous both parties and the entire process is. It is agonizing to listen to each side pick apart the other without discussions on issues. The two party system is a joke. We used to have real choices early in our democracy and somehow we are now stuck with two. The problem is if a third party candidate actually stuns the country and wins they will get nothing done in a Congress and Senate full of the other two. It would just be an antagonizing stale mate until one of the two parties regroups and "redefines" their message and we vote one of them in again.

I am annoyed at how blindly some follow their ideologies. As if they have been brainwashed into believing that Republicans are bad and Democrats are good or vice versa. It's really juvenile. Did we grow up or are we still living in a playground in 3rd grade? Yes there are bad apples in both parties and bad policies but both parties are so alike I don't even understand where all the vitriol comes from. It seems to come from special interest groups that fan the flames with advertisements or stories that support their beliefs and distort the beliefs of their opponent. This has been going on since our political system began but we just see it more with the Internet and 1000 channels of television. In the old days there would just be newspapers spreading their propaganda in support of their candidates. Now if I search for a story online I get sent a thousand links to different pages of propaganda. What is real and what isn't is really irrelevant, it's online. Journalistic integrity and libel aren't even really factors online because they aren't held to those standards. So who know what is real, imagined, or just someone's personal views anymore. When the newspaper became something we burned in our fireplaces instead of what we waited for each morning with our cup of coffee then we lost credibility. Now anyone can, and does, create their own news. As isolated as we are now with online, we've become even more isolated because we can just surf our own beliefs 24 hours a day, never seeing the other side, never deepening our argument. We just rehash the same tired propaganda and talking points.

The art of character assassination should be a class taught in college. It seems that is the number one way to win an argument now. Don't like their policy, dig up dirt and destroy them. Show the world that their word mean nothing because of their alleged actions. Both parties are 100% culpable. We can say who started it and who does it more, that's all irrelevant too. It's simply trying to frame the argument to justify their actions. It's not debating anything of value by saying one guy did it first. No one wins when we do this.

Relationships now are becoming about spin control. With Facebook we are so interconnected between each other's friends that break ups are right out in the open. Essentially Facebook has created a new cycle of break up grief: 1) Frustrated posts of problems...2) Changing of relationship status...3) Deleting couple pics from photos...4) Posting of sadness or happiness (depends on the breaker upper and the dumped party...5) Condolences from friends...6) Positive quote postings..and finally 7) Starting your own blog!

Sports, politics, relationships, no religion today. I guess that is unless you count Facebook as a religion, so then I've covered all the bases. Thanks for playing.

What rules?

Can we separate our business dealings from our personal morals? Are business ethics merely an inconvenience? Are they generational? Do the ethics of our parent's generation, or my generation, even matter to the next one? Or are we all just re-writing the rules as we go along? What's acceptable? What line can be blurred and what line was boldly crossed without even an ounce of regret?

Ethics (also known as moral philosophy) is a branch of philosophy that addresses questions about morality — that is, concepts such as good and evil, right and wrong, virtue and vice, justice, etc.

Business ethics (also known as Corporate ethics) is a form of applied ethics or professional ethics that examines ethical principles and moral or ethical problems that arise in a business environment. It applies to all aspects of business conduct and is relevant to the conduct of individuals and business organizations as a whole. Applied ethics is a field of ethics that deals with ethical questions in many fields such as medical, technical, legal and business ethics.

Do these concepts merge? Do we have a responsibility to deal ethically in our business dealings as we do in our personal lives? If we know something is not truthful but our employer encourages us to press onward do we not share the blame if we are willing or unwilling accomplices? We still complied and lied. It doesn't matter who enforced it. To say that this is just the way the world works seems like a cop out. Have we accepted that this is the only way?

Today I sat in a classroom of business students and was stunned by a general disregard for ethics. The prevailing wisdom of the group was that if a consumer didn't complain or bring up the issue directly then there was no moral responsibility to disclose anything. Even if that anything could be cancerous and cause death. It was as if I sat in the room with future tobacco executives, circa 1950. And yet there is a serious detachment from morals and business that I believe my generation and the one behind me is sorely missing. The Internet has taken our souls. The television has given us the impression that it is ok to lie, cheat, and steal your way to the top as long as it is covert and you are smiling while doing it. Isn't this the premise of the show Survivor and Big Brother? Form alliances, and con your way to the top? It is also the premise to many other shows. The most conniving and convincing wins. It's good television, and what's good for tv must be good for the real world. This is our new business model.

I can't comment much about the new movie The Social Network because I haven't yet seen it, but from reviews it sounds like the founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerburg, took someone else's idea and muscled out a co-founder, fellow friend and financier in the process. Yet to many in today's generation that is merely good business. It made him billions right? There is no moral dilemma here when it involves making money, but to what end?

I think the issue for a lot of younger people hearing about morals and ethics is that they believe someone is preaching to them about religion. We live in a day and age where we can research anything we want to ourselves. We don't need someone pushing their ideals upon us. Who are they anyways? The role model becomes the one who is successful not the one who is condemning the one who is successful. They are just envious. They didn't have the drive themselves. In order to be successful we have to bend the rules a little, or a lot, and who's rules were they anyways? They were written ten years ago. We live in a different age and the Internet has changed everything. There are new rules. Oh wait, there aren't. They are the same rules, just shorter attention spans, and less desire to follow them.

I'm guilty of it. I blurred the line in my job before. I tight roped the line of ethical and unethical. I turned the black and white a beautiful shade of gray. There were days when I did things I wasn't proud of. I justified my decisions for doing so by the fact that everyone was doing it and more blatantly. I was "more" ethical and  still completely unethical. Yet in my mind I wasn't doing anything wrong. I justified it by comparing myself to someone that was far worse off. I can't be that bad...I didn't shoot anyone. We can push that boundary further and further out. If we know it's wrong, it's wrong. It doesn't matter how we spin it. But in life we have to do this sometimes right?

If anything this re-shifting of our economy should wake us up to the decisions that led to it. I worked in some industries that are responsible and saw this thing coming like a freight train in 2005. It was inevitable, but I needed a paycheck. I wasn't the culpable party because I was just an order taker. I didn't directly sell to anyone, but I knew it was dirty. It was like driving the car for a drug dealer. You know he's dealing, just because you aren't doesn't mean you aren't guilty too. A lot of smarter men then me should carry more of the guilt but they cashed out already. Maybe they wrote the new rules.

She stood next to the freeway

The wind blew against my sun soaked face as I absorbed it and the scenery around me driving in a convertible on the south side of the island of Maui. I'm not sure what heaven is, but this was as close to it as I could get. On my left was the Pacific Ocean crashing against the white sand beaches in a rhythmic pattern set almost to the music from my stereo and on my right the lush green mountains and sugar cane fields. All that was missing to this epic ride along the coast was that dream girl sitting next to me. As I pulled from one tiny beach city into the next there she stood. This gorgeous light brunette vision hitch hiking, waiting to hop into my passenger seat, to take this incredible Hawaii vacation to another level, and I drove right by. I didn't stop and it took about five minutes of intense dialogue with myself before I turned the car back around to go get her, but when I pulled back by she was gone.

In life we get many chances, some of them we take, and some we drive right by. Who knows what would have happened if I had stopped and picked her up. Perhaps she would have just told me to drop her off in the next city. Maybe she would have chopped me up like The Hitcher. Or she could have said, keep driving, and we'll just see where the road takes us. That was what I contemplated the rest of that drive. One more opportunity lost. Natural instinct told me not to pull over for hitch hikers, and yet that natural instinct never included beautiful goddess-like women waiting for a ride. No idea why I didn't stop immediately. Fear maybe. Fear of the unknown and fear of rejection. Maybe she would have looked at me and laughed and said "yeah right buddy, have a nice drive I'll wait for the next car." The truth is she would have probably gotten in the car and I would have had an even better memory than driving past her.

How often in life do we make like that drive in Maui? Do we drive past something and look back in regret and pull around only to find it is too late? Maybe we try to replicate something we lost only to find it is nowhere near what we were missing in the first place? There are many things we hold onto for nostalgia. Maybe it is an old love letter, pictures of an ex-flame, or old baseball cards from our youth. Something we hide or hold dear but if replicated actually diminish the value of our memories. It's never the same when we reconnect with an ex-flame. Life changes us and also changes them. Our perceptions are altered and maybe we held them to higher acclaim in our memories than they could even possibly live up to. We link them to a time in our life that is long gone and can never be reclaimed. This person won't give us time back. They will only reflect ourselves in how much time has passed.

This works in sports too. I know that my favorite baseball team the S.F. Giants just won the National League West and are in the playoffs. I was ecstatic that they won, but not as much as when I was younger. I remember that in 1989 when the Giants made it all the way to the World Series I was enamored with them. I would listen to every ball game that season on the radio. Hank Greenburg was the announcer and I would listen to the games sitting in my bedroom with all my baseball cards laying on the floor. Each Giants batter that would come to the plate and I'd hold their baseball card as if they were playing on the field in front of me. I would live and die with each game. When Will Clark or Kevin Mitchell came to the plate it would take the Jaws of Life to pry me away from the radio. In fact I can still see Clark's majestic swing in the NLCS series against the Chicago Cubs smashing a grand slam over Wrigley Field. He was electric that series, and yet I know my youth played a huge role in how I remember things. When the games ended on KNBR 680 I would listen to Ralph Barbieri's show afterwards and his final words after each broadcast: "Remember Angels fly because they take themselves lightly." To me at 12 it was the coolest sign off ever, yet in hindsight it wasn't that cool at all. In fact it was taken from someone else and why is he talking about the Angels?



Will "the Thrill" Clark

 I would remember how great a player was in my mind and yet looking back at their actual stats for those same years would see that they were merely mediocre players at best. They weren't dominant. They were good. As a child we believe our favorite athletes can do no wrong, but as adults we are seasoned enough to know they are merely human and full of flaws themselves, including terrible performances. Before the awfulness of Barry Zito the Giants had another awful left handed pitcher in Atlee Hammacker. Sports still bring out our childish whims though. While the Giants struggled to finally win their division I resorted to that 12 year old boy pouting and ready to rip up all my baseball cards. I texted my good friend and fellow Giants fan and moaned how I didn't care about the Giants anyways. I said that they never put food on my table. They are just over priced athletes who don't care about us, but of course I jumped right back on the wagon once they finally won.

It makes me wonder how many of us are aspiring to unrealistic goals. Perhaps it is a goal we set as a child that in hindsight has no way of being accomplished or appreciated by our adult selves. Perhaps it is a life we are now living that we thought would bring us fulfillment but is not. We do most of our dreaming in our childhoods. Most of our goals and dreams are formed long before we go through a school system and maturity process which seems to diminish what we once longed for. I guess we all can't be astronauts or movie stars. We are not all going to be the next Hemingway or Mozart. There can only be one Bruce Lee right? I know that my goal was never to be a banker or to sell products and services that I didn't make or create myself. I guess I don't have to worry about that one anymore, their goal now seems to not have me doing that! But, even in school a business degree feels to me that I am doing this for back up purposes. I am not an accountant nor the next corporate raider that is going to make a killing on Wall Street. I don't have Mark Zuckerburg's brain and will not revolutionize the Internet. I would love to have the talent of Charlie Kaufman or the talent and drive of Stephen King. I'm always amazed at how many novels these writers can churn out and what it even takes to write one. Yet here these guys get a new one to print every two years if not sooner.

Life is the road we travel. It can be on a highway along the coast in Maui or some dirt road in the middle of Modesto. It doesn't matter where it is as long as we know where it is going. Are our dreams realistic or not? Do we have the capability to accomplish them or are we just holding on to a far ago memory? Do we even want it anymore? What kind of life are you living and what can you do to improve it or maintain it? I can't go back and pick up that woman who was hitch hiking on that amazing day 6 years ago. That moment is long gone, but I don't have to drive through life blindly anymore. I can stop and start over. I can change directions and appreciate the scenery while doing so. I just need to get my head out of the clouds, out of yesterday, and into October 2010 and beyond. It's good to hold the past to remind us but we need the present and the future to drive us. Where is it taking you?