As I was completing my epic beat down of Sam bowling at Roxy Ann Lanes I was drawn back to the trial by jury case I sat back on a week prior. The process for selecting jurors is more complex than a machine lining up ten bowling pins but there are similarities. Do you strike out the defendant sitting by the defense attorney or do you spare them the conviction? In my case we split decisioned her. We threw her a spare on the far reaching charge we saw no merit in and threw a strike on the charge we felt she clearly committed. In the bowling case I simply laid the strike down on Sam, there was no spare for him.
We are trained to avoid jury duty. We are told to say controversial things so that we are spared sitting on a jury and hearing a case. The horror stories abound from everyone once we've shared we'd got the summons. They tell us about six week cases and being sequestered in hotel rooms without televisions. Yet, the truth is this is Medford, OR. There are no high profile cases that are going to warrant that kind of long jury duty and most cases at the Jackson County Court are going to last one day. Where else can we see the legal system at work and make a difference in that legal system which often seems so unfairly balanced. As the defense attorney and district attorney asked the juror questions it was interesting to see people revert to the adage that we are conditioned to do to avoid jury duty. A few claimed prejudices they couldn't see past, while some claimed family members in similar situations and that it would mar their judgement. Next thing I knew I was one of eight jurors sitting on a panel and we were about to try a case.
When you are sitting in a jury box you are the center of attention. I think in television shows they fail to show the true power of a juror. The prosecutors can place all the evidence and facts and explain the law, the defense attorney can run theories and dissect that evidence, but the jurors are the ultimate decision makers. Without good rapport with their jury an attorney can have all the pieces for a trial victory yet lose it's audience and the trial once the case goes into the jury deliberation. The jurors may feel the attorney was not genuine, that their case was weak or forced, even if it wasn't. This could be based on their lack of connection with their jurors. We automatically see these eloquent attorneys on television and movies. They are polished and beautiful stars reading lines to people who are not judging their every word and movement. Yet an attorney is not polished, they fumble, you see them lose their point and have to regain their traction to make their point. In a comparison to bowling, the attorney is the bowling ball, the ten pins the jurors, will they complete the strike or will their case go into the gutter?
It's all balance and release. You have to make sure the ball leaves your hand at the precise time and if you have a wicked spin shot like Sam you have to make sure that you can clean up the pins left over. Not everyone is dazzled by your rapport, sometimes you have to win over the remaining stragglers, or that damn 4 pin, with the actual evidence.
Judging a person's guilt or innocence is a difficult decision, but we judge our friends and family all the time. Sometimes it is warranted and sometimes it is not. It's easier to vocalize our judgement to those close to us. And truth be told, it is good to be judged sometimes because we don't always see ourselves the way our close friends or family can. Their judging doesn't necessarily mean they don't care for us, or think they are better than us, it simply means they care enough to tell us. What we do with it is up to us. Do we push them away and get defensive or do we take it in stride? It's not always right and there are always mitigating circumstances that they don't see but they are presented with evidence and make a ruling. We can deliberate to ourselves later whether it was a just and fair ruling or not. As far as the bowling goes though there was nothing just about that beat down I applied in that 1950's retro bowling alley last night to my good friend Sam. It was brutal, and I am guilty as charged.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
An hourglass with sugar
It took a tiny spider about ten minutes to pull itself from my living room floor all the way to the ceiling fan above. Each couple of minutes it dangled further above the ground like a window washer on a sky scraper. I have no idea how it managed to get it's web onto the ceiling fan from my floor at least 20 feet below. Nor how it managed to feel safe enough to keep pulling itself up when it could have easily gone anywhere else in my house undetected. Why it chose the highest point in the living room gave it some gumption and maybe spared its damn life because I surely couldn't kill it now. I just watched it keep slowly moving up until it reached its destination. Maybe I was in awe of its courage.
On the television behind the spider climbing was the ESPN 30 for 30 episode about the Michigan Wolverines Fab Five and Chris Webber's infamous "time-out..I mean, no time out, oh sh#%t we are out of timeouts play." In short order he went from one of the most celebrated college players on a NCAA championship team to making a mistake forever remembered by fans and capsulized in video memory. There surely were dumber plays made in history somewhere, we just don't have the film to prove it. It just shows how time can change things, moments, perception, and history. I researched Webber on Wikipedia after the show ended and saw he earned 169 MILLION in his NBA career following this so I guess he gets the last laugh..Ted Dibiase style.
On my way flying home from Hawaii I sat in the plane next to an older gentleman who was in a talkative mood. Somehow we got to his former career as a CEO of several sugar cane plantations that used to exist on the islands. He mentioned that the one plantation in Maui is the last one on all the islands, which at one time had 11 or so active. I believe he said something like 68,000 acres of sugar cane fields were sold off into development and the plantations wiped clean. He mentioned that at one point they had spent 5 million to produce the sugar cane into ethanol for fuel and were prepared to send this to the mainland gas and oil companies and have it refined. These gas companies refused. They didn't see the value in turning this existing sugar cane into ethanol. So the fields were destroyed and only one field remains. Hawaii which requires 10% of their fuel to be ethanol actually has to ship the ethanol fuel in from the mainland, from corn. The irony is that it costs more in fuel production to receive the 10% ethanol fuel from the mainland then it would have if it was just 100% oil. This is the lunacy of our energy policies and the greed of the existing powers that dictate it. The irony is that the sugar cane field that remains is losing money. The price of sugar is stabilized by the US government. It costs the same now for sugar than it did in the 1950's, so there is no value in running sugar fields for profit, especially when the machines running them take oil.
As I watched that spider climb the web to the top of the ceiling fan suspended in time, I realized that we have probably hit our ceiling in this time and that web it has spun has entangled us all.
On the television behind the spider climbing was the ESPN 30 for 30 episode about the Michigan Wolverines Fab Five and Chris Webber's infamous "time-out..I mean, no time out, oh sh#%t we are out of timeouts play." In short order he went from one of the most celebrated college players on a NCAA championship team to making a mistake forever remembered by fans and capsulized in video memory. There surely were dumber plays made in history somewhere, we just don't have the film to prove it. It just shows how time can change things, moments, perception, and history. I researched Webber on Wikipedia after the show ended and saw he earned 169 MILLION in his NBA career following this so I guess he gets the last laugh..Ted Dibiase style.
On my way flying home from Hawaii I sat in the plane next to an older gentleman who was in a talkative mood. Somehow we got to his former career as a CEO of several sugar cane plantations that used to exist on the islands. He mentioned that the one plantation in Maui is the last one on all the islands, which at one time had 11 or so active. I believe he said something like 68,000 acres of sugar cane fields were sold off into development and the plantations wiped clean. He mentioned that at one point they had spent 5 million to produce the sugar cane into ethanol for fuel and were prepared to send this to the mainland gas and oil companies and have it refined. These gas companies refused. They didn't see the value in turning this existing sugar cane into ethanol. So the fields were destroyed and only one field remains. Hawaii which requires 10% of their fuel to be ethanol actually has to ship the ethanol fuel in from the mainland, from corn. The irony is that it costs more in fuel production to receive the 10% ethanol fuel from the mainland then it would have if it was just 100% oil. This is the lunacy of our energy policies and the greed of the existing powers that dictate it. The irony is that the sugar cane field that remains is losing money. The price of sugar is stabilized by the US government. It costs the same now for sugar than it did in the 1950's, so there is no value in running sugar fields for profit, especially when the machines running them take oil.
As I watched that spider climb the web to the top of the ceiling fan suspended in time, I realized that we have probably hit our ceiling in this time and that web it has spun has entangled us all.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Parallel Universe
What better time to start a blog entry then at 2am on a Saturday night stone cold sober. This was a strange week. A parallel universe to the week that preceded it. Then I was in some kind of fantasy reality on the beach in 85 degree endless warmth and sunshine. I was hiking lush, green, tropical mountains, and biking down six Eco-system climates from the frigid Arctic volcano mountaintops to the white sand beach 30 miles below. Now I'm holed up in my house alone and have lost all the momentum that week had afforded me. It didn't take but three days back to give it all away either. I felt pulled from the womb of paradise and left in a cold, wet, and dreary climate with air that hangs over me like a comforter pulled straight out of the washer.
I read an article today about another man released from prison in California after twenty plus years in jail. The evidence to retry him was not salvageable and the judge felt his first trial provided inadequate defense and ordered a retrial. Without valid evidence for a retrial he was set free. This doesn't mean he's innocent, it merely means the due process couldn't be afforded so they released him. I don't know enough about the facts to make a determination if it was a fair ruling or not, but there are countless prisoners in jail tried with faulty evidence and power hungry prosecutors looking for another notch in their belts. The justice system is flawed and evidence that was used to make many rulings is probably not accurate by today's stricter DNA standards. But what about our own lives? Do we hold ourselves guilty of crimes, do we carry regrets, and do we mourn in remorse over episodes in our lives years ago that we can no longer see so clearly? Is the evidence we've used to feel this way even salvageable as well? Or is it just faulty perception and here say that we have held against ourselves and do we suffer for no reason at all?
I love the quote, "A coward dies 1000 deaths a brave man only one." Am I living like a coward? Everyday in Maui I woke early and walked or ran. I used each day of vacation as if it were my last day on the planet. I maximized my days and now a week back and I've fallen into my old habits and routines, life is no longer a great gift but a daily chore. It's more than just going to work, because work feels like a reprieve from home. At least at work I am busy from myself.
I am going to be brave. I am done drinking. For a week in Maui I had no desire to drink and while I occasionally had one or two drinks it was my binging Tuesday that has led me back into a week of spiralling. That's it, I'm done. Life is more important to me than allowing something that has caused so much damage in my life to remain in it. It doesn't make sense to continue something that produces the same results over and over again that causes me this unhappiness. This is after all the definition of insanity. I've had 34 years of fun times and miserable times with alcohol a part of it. I'd like to see how the rest of my life looks like without it.
Can this replace the beaches of Maui? No. Will it wash away the rainy sky? Not at all. Will it make me feel better about myself? At least tonight.
I read an article today about another man released from prison in California after twenty plus years in jail. The evidence to retry him was not salvageable and the judge felt his first trial provided inadequate defense and ordered a retrial. Without valid evidence for a retrial he was set free. This doesn't mean he's innocent, it merely means the due process couldn't be afforded so they released him. I don't know enough about the facts to make a determination if it was a fair ruling or not, but there are countless prisoners in jail tried with faulty evidence and power hungry prosecutors looking for another notch in their belts. The justice system is flawed and evidence that was used to make many rulings is probably not accurate by today's stricter DNA standards. But what about our own lives? Do we hold ourselves guilty of crimes, do we carry regrets, and do we mourn in remorse over episodes in our lives years ago that we can no longer see so clearly? Is the evidence we've used to feel this way even salvageable as well? Or is it just faulty perception and here say that we have held against ourselves and do we suffer for no reason at all?
I love the quote, "A coward dies 1000 deaths a brave man only one." Am I living like a coward? Everyday in Maui I woke early and walked or ran. I used each day of vacation as if it were my last day on the planet. I maximized my days and now a week back and I've fallen into my old habits and routines, life is no longer a great gift but a daily chore. It's more than just going to work, because work feels like a reprieve from home. At least at work I am busy from myself.
I am going to be brave. I am done drinking. For a week in Maui I had no desire to drink and while I occasionally had one or two drinks it was my binging Tuesday that has led me back into a week of spiralling. That's it, I'm done. Life is more important to me than allowing something that has caused so much damage in my life to remain in it. It doesn't make sense to continue something that produces the same results over and over again that causes me this unhappiness. This is after all the definition of insanity. I've had 34 years of fun times and miserable times with alcohol a part of it. I'd like to see how the rest of my life looks like without it.
Can this replace the beaches of Maui? No. Will it wash away the rainy sky? Not at all. Will it make me feel better about myself? At least tonight.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Is insanity in?
It feels like it's been a while since I've blogged on here, but it's only been a couple of weeks. Maybe it's because I realize how tame my "jumping the shark" blog is in comparison to Charlie Sheen's daily meteoric meltdowns. All I've ever fumed about were past relationships and jobs, this guy has the whole Vatican and Warlock nation after him. If I just jumped over a shark this guy has done pirouettes over the freaking Legend of Zelda.
Speaking of Zelda, like a big video game dork I went onto YouTube the other day and watched clips of all my old favorite Nintendo video games. I think I need to invest in an old school Nintendo. No offense to the gamers of today but no games were cooler than those original games of Super Mario Brothers, Kung Fu, Zelda, and one of my all time favorites Kid Icarus. Sure the graphics of those games are the equivalent of a black and white tv and episodes of I Love Lucy compared to Two and a Half Men but at least Lucille Ball wasn't holed up in the Beverly Hilton with 7 gram rocks and Ricky Ricardo off set..or...maybe we just didn't give a damn back then and appreciated the work on screen. The show is no longer the show anymore, the show is "after" the show. Reality television has made our celebrities reality stars. The cameras don't shut off after the curtain closes, it's saran wrap.
I don't feel sympathy for stars, they chose their platform. I do find it amazing that while we are watching teachers unions losing their benefits in Wisconsin, millionaire sports athletes are proudly standing behind their unions to continue their wealth accumulation. We all gasp at a potential lock-out so that we can no longer spend time watching these millionaire athletes compete while millions of Americans stand in an unemployment line. Hey, I was in that line too, watching these athletes. We are like the citizens of Rome watching the Gladiators fight while we starve and beg for loaves of bread in the Colosseum. Only our athletes don't risk their lives for our affection or entertainment, merely the embarrassment of failed expectations and for that they sit in locker rooms and cry..poor poor Heat.
I still believe ignorance is bliss. It has to be. The more we know the less happy we are knowing it. That was no joke in the Bible. We weren't supposed to eat that apple. We were supposed to be naked and clueless frolicking in gardens or living in Jersey Shore. Hell, they've never eaten apples..obviously. Maybe Jersey Shore is Eden..pre-apple. Snooki does sort of look like the rib of Ronnie, or that she had a few McRibs..I don't know.
I hope crazy isn't the new fad. We've done hyper color t-shirts, we've done flannel, now the fad is wear your crazy out loud and proud. Just blurt out craziness, it's in, people like it, hell we covet it, we crave it, we all up and add you to twitter over it. We are so about crazy we can't take it anymore. We want our politicians crazy. We want our celebrities whacked out. We like our movies about nutcases. Sane was so yesterday. If you are not insane, you are out. Who would of thought all our serial killers and psychos from yesterday were merely trendsetters? Stars before their time...who needs 15 minutes of fame when you can have 15 years to life of it.
I really need my vacation. Is it Maui or Zelda? Does it make a difference?
Speaking of Zelda, like a big video game dork I went onto YouTube the other day and watched clips of all my old favorite Nintendo video games. I think I need to invest in an old school Nintendo. No offense to the gamers of today but no games were cooler than those original games of Super Mario Brothers, Kung Fu, Zelda, and one of my all time favorites Kid Icarus. Sure the graphics of those games are the equivalent of a black and white tv and episodes of I Love Lucy compared to Two and a Half Men but at least Lucille Ball wasn't holed up in the Beverly Hilton with 7 gram rocks and Ricky Ricardo off set..or...maybe we just didn't give a damn back then and appreciated the work on screen. The show is no longer the show anymore, the show is "after" the show. Reality television has made our celebrities reality stars. The cameras don't shut off after the curtain closes, it's saran wrap.
I don't feel sympathy for stars, they chose their platform. I do find it amazing that while we are watching teachers unions losing their benefits in Wisconsin, millionaire sports athletes are proudly standing behind their unions to continue their wealth accumulation. We all gasp at a potential lock-out so that we can no longer spend time watching these millionaire athletes compete while millions of Americans stand in an unemployment line. Hey, I was in that line too, watching these athletes. We are like the citizens of Rome watching the Gladiators fight while we starve and beg for loaves of bread in the Colosseum. Only our athletes don't risk their lives for our affection or entertainment, merely the embarrassment of failed expectations and for that they sit in locker rooms and cry..poor poor Heat.
I still believe ignorance is bliss. It has to be. The more we know the less happy we are knowing it. That was no joke in the Bible. We weren't supposed to eat that apple. We were supposed to be naked and clueless frolicking in gardens or living in Jersey Shore. Hell, they've never eaten apples..obviously. Maybe Jersey Shore is Eden..pre-apple. Snooki does sort of look like the rib of Ronnie, or that she had a few McRibs..I don't know.
I hope crazy isn't the new fad. We've done hyper color t-shirts, we've done flannel, now the fad is wear your crazy out loud and proud. Just blurt out craziness, it's in, people like it, hell we covet it, we crave it, we all up and add you to twitter over it. We are so about crazy we can't take it anymore. We want our politicians crazy. We want our celebrities whacked out. We like our movies about nutcases. Sane was so yesterday. If you are not insane, you are out. Who would of thought all our serial killers and psychos from yesterday were merely trendsetters? Stars before their time...who needs 15 minutes of fame when you can have 15 years to life of it.
I really need my vacation. Is it Maui or Zelda? Does it make a difference?
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Refueling my karma tank
I have a tendency to drive my car to zero. I let my fuel tank run dry and wait until the last possible moment to refill. When I finally pull into the gas station and start refueling air has been compressed in the tank and the gas is rejected. My car believes it has a full tank even when it has been running on fumes. This is added to the embarrassment factor by living in a state that doesn't allow you to pump your own gas. I have to tell the attendant over and over again I really am on empty. One time it took ten minutes to put in ten dollars worth of gas, thirty cents thirty brutal seconds at a time. I guess I should know better by now then to let my car's tank get so low, but what about the tank inside of me? The fuel there is not gasoline but karma, and lately it has been running on empty too.
My Sunday's are usually spent refilling my karma tank for the week walking dogs at the animal shelter. For whatever reason the last few years, whenever I walk dogs on a Sunday I have a great overall week following. Either my attitude is better, the sales are better in my job, and everything seems to click. The last month I haven't been able to walk dogs for various reasons. The last two weeks I've actually driven out there it's been packed with volunteers. I don't know where all these people have come from. What was my secret oasis refueling station has now become a Costco gas station. Everyone has decided that walking shelter dogs is the thing to do and they've hijacked my Sunday ritual. I guess I should be happy people are walking dogs, but I'm also annoyed because I feel I've lost the one thing I could rely on to jump start my week on a positive note. I'm actually greedy about my giving and I want to be stingy on my volunteerism. Why can't these people go do something else?
So now I have to find something else to provide balance and refuel myself. I'm not going to crowd around kennels and wait for dogs to come back from their fifth walk of the day so I can walk them a sixth time. I'm not going to jump volunteers and bully my way back into the dog walking rotation. It's over. I've already been muscled out. The fifty year old ladies who have overrun the shelter on my Sundays have won. Oh yeah, I guess it's about those mangy mutts huh? Yeah I guess they are the real winners. These dogs get more attention now then if they actually had owners. Some of them walk more in a day now then people's dogs walk in a month. It's not a shelter it is a resort. All that is missing are the cocktails with the umbrellas being served to these clever canines.
Even when I am doing good deeds I'm looking for my payoff. The payoff doesn't necessarily have to be bars of gold or fame (though that is preferred) but even just good karma. Something good happening in return for something good I do. It is a quid pro quo system. I do for the universe and the universe in return does something for me. So in the end my selflessness is entirely selfish which probably negates any positivity I'm giving out into the same universe because I'm looking to absorb it right back. There is a word for that but it is not politically correct and would therefore bring me bad karma. My tank is too empty and I can't afford it.
My Sunday's are usually spent refilling my karma tank for the week walking dogs at the animal shelter. For whatever reason the last few years, whenever I walk dogs on a Sunday I have a great overall week following. Either my attitude is better, the sales are better in my job, and everything seems to click. The last month I haven't been able to walk dogs for various reasons. The last two weeks I've actually driven out there it's been packed with volunteers. I don't know where all these people have come from. What was my secret oasis refueling station has now become a Costco gas station. Everyone has decided that walking shelter dogs is the thing to do and they've hijacked my Sunday ritual. I guess I should be happy people are walking dogs, but I'm also annoyed because I feel I've lost the one thing I could rely on to jump start my week on a positive note. I'm actually greedy about my giving and I want to be stingy on my volunteerism. Why can't these people go do something else?
So now I have to find something else to provide balance and refuel myself. I'm not going to crowd around kennels and wait for dogs to come back from their fifth walk of the day so I can walk them a sixth time. I'm not going to jump volunteers and bully my way back into the dog walking rotation. It's over. I've already been muscled out. The fifty year old ladies who have overrun the shelter on my Sundays have won. Oh yeah, I guess it's about those mangy mutts huh? Yeah I guess they are the real winners. These dogs get more attention now then if they actually had owners. Some of them walk more in a day now then people's dogs walk in a month. It's not a shelter it is a resort. All that is missing are the cocktails with the umbrellas being served to these clever canines.
Even when I am doing good deeds I'm looking for my payoff. The payoff doesn't necessarily have to be bars of gold or fame (though that is preferred) but even just good karma. Something good happening in return for something good I do. It is a quid pro quo system. I do for the universe and the universe in return does something for me. So in the end my selflessness is entirely selfish which probably negates any positivity I'm giving out into the same universe because I'm looking to absorb it right back. There is a word for that but it is not politically correct and would therefore bring me bad karma. My tank is too empty and I can't afford it.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
The shark commeth and he commeth soon
We are supposed to become wiser with age, but I find myself just running out of excuses for my dumbness. It's as if time peels away layers of our bullshit so that we can't even present the lie convincingly anymore. The new lie is acceptance of our fate and our behavior. This is "who I am." I can't change this behavior it is "ingrained". I've used 33 cards in a 52 card deck and I'm running out of Aces.
I have to also realize that being ill with some brutal congestive head cold can affect my thinking. I can barely breath and keep my head from imploding under the force of the pressure inside of it. I'm wondering about that pop rocks and diet soda idea right now. Does anyone still sell pop rocks? Maybe I will throw a few mentos in there for good measure. Is that my brain on fire I smell cooking?
It's been over six months since I started this blog yet my first entry was about my hike in Arizona last February so it feels like it's been a year. So for the hell of it I'm claiming this the year anniversary of my blog. Wow, a whole year, all the ups and downs, trials and tribulations; the highs, lows, and below freezings. A year ago today me and Arthur Fonzarelli were on our water skis in our swim trunks and leather jackets about ready to jump over a pool of seething and starving sharks. I remember Richie Cunningham, Ralph Malph and Potsy looking over us nervously with Joanie and Chachi. Those were crazy times, good times, with good friends...and I'm sorry the Fonz didn't survive, but it wasn't my fault.Yes I believe that medication is kicking in now.
I won't keep rambling because my attempt at a profound and inspiring post has been sullied by Happy Days. Tomorrow is another day and Annie is getting a remake and I'm sure we aren't too far from a Gone with the Wind remake and Scarlett O'Hara being cast. And with Hollywood's great casting, do I smell Oscar for Megan Fox? Thanks for reading for the last year and I'll promise to add more in depth knowledge and perspective the next go around or I'll just jump in the water. Who needs pop rocks?
February being my birthday month would seem to be my best month of the year, only it's not. The build up to another year off the clock culminates through expectations unlived and unfulfilled. I wonder about old dreams and goals and bury myself in excuses of their unimportance, but that believability thing kicks in. When you are six the idea of watching wrestlers perform on television is exciting and you are caught up in the myth. When you reach my age the spectacle of a returning actor back to WWE wrestler only makes me feel sadness for him. I somehow doubt that this was his preferred career decision. Then I feel even worse because I had it on my television in the first place. I think that is desperation I smell cooking by the way. You see someone break away from what appears a career path pre-destined and making a name for himself only to abandon those efforts when things don't go as planned.
I have to also realize that being ill with some brutal congestive head cold can affect my thinking. I can barely breath and keep my head from imploding under the force of the pressure inside of it. I'm wondering about that pop rocks and diet soda idea right now. Does anyone still sell pop rocks? Maybe I will throw a few mentos in there for good measure. Is that my brain on fire I smell cooking?
It's been over six months since I started this blog yet my first entry was about my hike in Arizona last February so it feels like it's been a year. So for the hell of it I'm claiming this the year anniversary of my blog. Wow, a whole year, all the ups and downs, trials and tribulations; the highs, lows, and below freezings. A year ago today me and Arthur Fonzarelli were on our water skis in our swim trunks and leather jackets about ready to jump over a pool of seething and starving sharks. I remember Richie Cunningham, Ralph Malph and Potsy looking over us nervously with Joanie and Chachi. Those were crazy times, good times, with good friends...and I'm sorry the Fonz didn't survive, but it wasn't my fault.Yes I believe that medication is kicking in now. I won't keep rambling because my attempt at a profound and inspiring post has been sullied by Happy Days. Tomorrow is another day and Annie is getting a remake and I'm sure we aren't too far from a Gone with the Wind remake and Scarlett O'Hara being cast. And with Hollywood's great casting, do I smell Oscar for Megan Fox? Thanks for reading for the last year and I'll promise to add more in depth knowledge and perspective the next go around or I'll just jump in the water. Who needs pop rocks?
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Who needs love when we have death and taxes
That a seminar for death and taxes is scheduled on Valentine’s Day is absolutely fitting. After all what better way to appreciate how fleeting love can be then when we pair it up with certainties. You can sing love songs, write poems, and shower with gifts and flowers but when the music fades, the words fail, and the flowers die well now you can pay some taxes and count down your inevitable demise. Isn’t that romantic? I know there is a Hallmark card there somewhere. In most states I’d even have to pay a sales tax on it.
This is one of my least favorite Hallmark holidays. It gets this name because this day has kept the greeting card business going strong for years. It morphed into the email card business and now text greetings. I’m sure there is already a Hallmark application available for download on any touch screen phone so you too can get your digitalized love message delivered gratifyingly instant. I know that when I was in relationships I dreaded this day for the pressure that it creates. What is an appropriate gift? Do I go for the expensive item which can rush the phases of the relationship or do I low-key it and risk not showing enough? In more serious relationships, marriages, etc I imagine there is less pressure on the day, yet starting out or several months in it can be a very uncomfortable day. I especially “love” the dinner phase of the night when every couple seems to be out on their romantic date and where the conversation lulls can be excruciating. This was a day to bring doubts and insecurities to every relationship or potential one, all you can do on a day like Valentine's Day is escape the day unscathed. A net/loss and net/gain of zero is the goal. So in a way it is like business taxes. I want to show enough profit to gain her attention and make her feel appreciated but I don't want to pay taxes so I can't show too much. Of course if I need a loan later I'm screwed (or not).
Of course the best way around Valentine's Day is to just spoil yourself. You can walk into your favorite jeweler and then walk out with a beautiful $2500 necklace. Therefore you bypass that whole tax thing to begin with. I cannot wait for the Surreal Life to come back with Lindsay and Charlie in the house. I would watch every episode. In fact any reality show with the two of them together would be better than any sitcom or film role could ever provide. We are talking Emmy awards and Oscars if they arrived to the big screen version. This could be epic. Now that is a movie I would gladly take a Valentine's date to! I would even buy her flowers. Or in honor of the stars, I'd walk out of the store with them at least.
This is one of my least favorite Hallmark holidays. It gets this name because this day has kept the greeting card business going strong for years. It morphed into the email card business and now text greetings. I’m sure there is already a Hallmark application available for download on any touch screen phone so you too can get your digitalized love message delivered gratifyingly instant. I know that when I was in relationships I dreaded this day for the pressure that it creates. What is an appropriate gift? Do I go for the expensive item which can rush the phases of the relationship or do I low-key it and risk not showing enough? In more serious relationships, marriages, etc I imagine there is less pressure on the day, yet starting out or several months in it can be a very uncomfortable day. I especially “love” the dinner phase of the night when every couple seems to be out on their romantic date and where the conversation lulls can be excruciating. This was a day to bring doubts and insecurities to every relationship or potential one, all you can do on a day like Valentine's Day is escape the day unscathed. A net/loss and net/gain of zero is the goal. So in a way it is like business taxes. I want to show enough profit to gain her attention and make her feel appreciated but I don't want to pay taxes so I can't show too much. Of course if I need a loan later I'm screwed (or not).
Of course the best way around Valentine's Day is to just spoil yourself. You can walk into your favorite jeweler and then walk out with a beautiful $2500 necklace. Therefore you bypass that whole tax thing to begin with. I cannot wait for the Surreal Life to come back with Lindsay and Charlie in the house. I would watch every episode. In fact any reality show with the two of them together would be better than any sitcom or film role could ever provide. We are talking Emmy awards and Oscars if they arrived to the big screen version. This could be epic. Now that is a movie I would gladly take a Valentine's date to! I would even buy her flowers. Or in honor of the stars, I'd walk out of the store with them at least.
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