Monday, July 26, 2010

Call me Mr. Meathead

That's it! I give up! I've decided to change some areas in my life. First things first, writing is not editing. I know many of you who read my blog (thanks Mom, sis) have critiqued my grammatical and spelling errors. Guess what? They are staying. In fact I promise to increase my incorrect usage of there and their. I will continue to spell crisis as crises. I will definitely make sure I increase my run-on and fragmented sentences. Do you know why? Ignorance is bliss!

Just look, everywhere we turn the most ignorant and incompetent are running the place. They could be your boss, your co-worker, or your next door neighbor. Even more appalling than their disregard for others, their general indifference to the world around them, or their inability to express emotions other than joy or rage is that they are happy. They love their life. They don't care about 2012, they are happy it's Friday. Forget getting them concerned about the threat of Iran or North Korea, they played in the World Cup they must be "ok". Two wars in progress, our climate dissipating right before our eyes, the crumbling of our national economy...did you see who won today on American Idol?

I'm done fighting it. I'm throwing away all of my classics and stacking my shelves with James Patterson. I'll admit it, Avatar was the greatest movie I've ever seen. Did you hear that dialogue? Genius. I think those Jersey Shore kids have real talent. All this time I've been blinded by my own jealousy. I'm letting go. Deep breaths....ahhh.

The Situation is my new hero. He just hits the gym an hour and a half a day, gets a nice glow, a fresh haircut, and life is good. Why have I made it so complicated? It's working to the tune of dollar bills baby. Paris Hilton, where are you? TMZ is more important than CNN. Let's get rid of CNN and get more TMZ, TMZ 2. Just keep them coming!

I think we need a reality show about the making of a reality show. Let's film the camera crew secretly and see what they are saying about the cast they are filming. Why stop there though. We can film the producers who approve the shows and the network executives who green light them. We'll follow them in their yachts and mansions, get a camera crew for their wives AND their mistresses.

When I flipped on the Tonys a few weeks ago I was surprised to see so many famous Hollywood actors in theater. I watched as Scarlett Johansson, Jude Law, and Denzel Washington all won top awards while not one unrecognizable face showed up on camera. Where were all the professional theater actors? Did they get pushed out of roles because of all the scripted shows on television are going the way of reality? I wonder why the stage actors getting pushed off Broadway don't just do a complete 180 and start their own reality show. They'd have it green lighted today. Then after they are famous they can get bumped back to the stage.

We know most movies are garbage now. Do I really have to see another bad 1980's television show made into a movie? Is this all we got? Our economy has already sourced out all of our industry we might as outsource Hollywood to the zombies. When is that Facts of Life movie coming out? Tootie?!

So there we have it, thinking is overrated. Now excuse me while I take my talents to the gym for an hour and a half.

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