Thursday, September 16, 2010

It's about Pirates

The beauty of the Facebook is all the great posts I see everyday. I may only have 90 some odd friends on here, but you all are a pretty interesting and insightful bunch. Many of my blogs have started with a kernel of a post or a message from there and then I turn it into a bowl of popcorn. Feel free to pour on the syrupy movie butter sauce and salten that sumabitch up. See my popcorn has attitude.

A lot of my posts have been pretty emotional and intense so I want to liven it up, and yet I'm still in a self-induced fog from my little weekend/day sojourn of self-pity but I'm getting over myself. I had a good day yesterday fishing with some buddies on the river. I watched Remy almost reel in a salmon in front of a jet boat audience. Instead it tore off his line. The fish got away. Sometimes it doesn't matter how good the bait is, or how strong the line. Sometimes a fish just won't be caught. It doesn't matter if the stars align and you are supposed to entertain the crowd of senior citizens on a jet boat. Regardless I think they got a kick out of the four of us out fishing. Remy with his hat looked like Huckleberry Finn. With the beers and Joey's vodka (or rubbing alcohol) he was consuming and me and Sam with some beer bottles we looked like four pirates on a trip through Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland. I guess it's fitting that we are truly almost pirates waiting for a ship, bounty, or job. Sam's line was classic as he yelled out to the white haired boaters, "This is what unemployment looks like!" They laughed and applauded. All we needed was the music..Yo ho yo ho a pirates life for me.

I think it would be easier to live the life of a pirate sometimes then the lives we live now. The fresh open air, and the high seas. Singing songs and drinking rum. The gold, the diamonds, and whatever else pirates found. Sure there was scurvy and madness and all the immoral pirate activities: murder, rape, pillaging, etc. I guess those are non-starters. But I know for sure that it was more of a democracy on those ships then the one we are currently living in now. At least you knew what a pirate stood for. He did his stabbing in the front. Literally, he stabbed you. Nowadays all the stabbing comes from behind, covert like, with a smile. I guess pirates held blades to the back of men while they walked the planks so maybe they did stab in the back too. There goes that theory. You can't even trust pirates.

I don't know who makes the decisions anymore. We can't look at the President. They lost power a long time ago. Congress also does not wield any. It's all back office maneuvering, corporate board rooms, private parties, and islands in Georgia circa 1910. All of these places that created the systems that we live in today. Nobody has any authority over anything. No one can make a final decision. They have to get upper management, more upper management, HR, ER, OR, and JR.. Ewing, yeah he's even involved and if there is oil and money involved what a great pirate he'd have been. He'd have ate Blackbeard's liver for dinner.

Speaking of Pirates, how the hell does a baseball team in Pittsburgh get the nickname Pirates? Was there some ship that settled in Pittsburgh I was unaware of? Most teams have some semblance of accuracy to their names. But the Pirates in Pittsburgh? And besides they are horrible! They haven't been to the playoffs in 18 years. I don't think they've had a winning season in that long either. They completely deserve to be stripped of their name. The should be called the Pittsburgh Praying Mantis's. No way do they deserve to call themselves Pirates. There would have been a mutiny on that ship 15 years ago. They are just sailing around in dead last every year looking for treasure in their backyard swimming pool, what a depressing baseball team. They make me look forward to the Cleveland Cavaliers basketball season.

I know one thing about pirates, I wouldn't have had a background check to worry about. There would be no passing the buck and making excuses. No wrangling for answers. Don't like the policy? "Well we got a piece of wood for you to balance on, on the side of the boat, come check it out." Fine, I get that. Real simple. Why can't all of our answers be that simple?

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