Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Gold dust in the wind

In my third grade class we had to sing Whitney Houston’s “Greatest Love of All” song for the cities Almond Blossom Festival. I remember that song to this day unfortunately. This was one of her first songs before she became the biggest female singer on the planet and made movies with Kevin Costner. This was Whitney with hair so high it was used as flight radar for Maverick and Goose. So it is sad to see that Whitney has passed and with her another 1980’s icon. Did I mention in third grade I also wore full Michael Jackson gear, the red leather zipper jacket, the silver sparkling glove and the black zipper pants? I did. I was the most popular third-grader at Dixieland school, denying those third-grade females crushes with a moonwalk away.

Now there is a revival of interest in the career hits of Whitney as there was with Michael Jackson’s in 2009. The best career moves for a singer past their time apparently is an early death and I’m sure there are struggling 80’s and 90’s artists wondering how they can fake death, relocate under an alias, and live off ITunes residuals on a tropical island somewhere. The best career rebound is now a permanent grounding.

It’s hard to get rich quick these days. On the Discovery Channel we see people willing to dive into the bottom of an arctic ocean with a vacuum cleaner to pick up gold specks of dust. The Bering Sea Gold shows men and women who have decided that building their own rickety ship (which apparently lasts without a breakdown for only a few hours a day) and diving into freezing water is their path to prosperity. Unfortunately it seems all the contestants on this game show are already mired in hundreds of thousands of child support debt or medical bills. Their path to prosperity is surviving debtor’s prison. This is always an inspiring message. It’s no longer instant wealth and lottery winnings, it’s breaking even. Forget gold teeth how about just purchasing some dentures or visiting a dentist! Staying with the Kevin Costner theme and adding some Patrick Swayze this show is part Waterworld and part Road House. I am not sure if these men have fins but I know that they are at the end of the world/ Nome, Alaska. But at least it is not Greece!

Who would have thought the Greek Islands have become less desirable than the arctic frigid waters of Alaska, but in Alaska you can still dive for prosperity. In Greece you have to pay to go to work. A new austerity measure (which apparently is the counter-opposite of prosperity) requires several thousand government employees to pay back their earned income and work for free until they get their budget under control. It must be just a blast to go to work for free! At least the ruffians in Alaska are on a ship out in the water with the possibility of wealth..and death. In Greece you are only promised death and taxes. But unless you were a 1980’s pop music icon there will no ITune gold dust residuals to fill your vacuum cleaner..just rocks, dirt, and cat hair..lot’s and lot’s of cat hair.

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